A bird’s gifts are its vision and its wings

A bird’s gifts are its vision and its wings
From eagles to the sparrow  on the lawn
Instant sight, then flight their safety bring

O little trembling robin ,shivering heart
I rescued you, the stray cat did no harm
But your predicament had made me start.

Then missing your sweet breakfast from my spouse,
How he loved to watch and hear your call,
You  hopped inside the kitchen and the house

After seeing no man was inside
You flew away as I stood in the hall
I had not seen you since the day he died

And now I do not feed birds  by the door
I place their water by the garden wall
And there are berries from the autumn’s store

As  on the tree high up a blackbird calls
A single apple from my tree shall fall
A bird’s gifts are its vision and its wings
Instant sight, then flight their safety bring

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The second story I ever wrote

“Your eyes are like deep pools in the  Indonesian ocean” he murmured into Annie’s ear.He gently took hold of her and pulled her down onto his knee.
Just as he did that, his Habitat chair collapsed and they  fell onto the floor.,the chair in bits around them.
Have you got your mobile,my sweetheart ?”he whispered romantically,
“I think you’ll have to ring 999.”OK,my  archangel” she  prattled,
” Operator,it’s my lover’s chair again.It keeps collapsing,can we bring into A and E to be fixed?”
“Well he can’t go to bed anymore so we really need this”
Just then a pebble hit the window,it was his wife coming back from Sainsburys” she’s lost her keys.
.Oh,wonderful,just at the right moment” he shouted,”Hello,mary,here is Annie,she’s a chair surgeon!”
“Oh,that’s good”, Mary muttered enigmatically,” Do you ever do beds?” “Why?”
“Well ours is always collapsing,another of life’s mysteries.”
“Why,you are so beautiful Mary,You are mesmerising.Come and show me your bed.We”ll leave Stan here.He’ll soon be in that ambulance”
“Mary,your eyes are like deep pools in the Indonesian ocean.”
“Have you both been  on ta creative writing course?” Annie spouted satirically.
“I aim for satisfaction.” Here’s my gun.I’m going to shoot you”
“But we have no guns in the UK”
“Well you have now.”
Just then the emergency ambulance arrived”.OK which chair is it this time” the paramedic  Dave enquired paradoxically.
“Have you ever thought of making it in the bath?”
“We’re getting really worried about you in Casualty,at your age.”
“Worry no more” Mary screamed emphatically, firing the gun repeatedly into the chair.”I’ll make sure he never sits in it again.And now Habitat’s gone bust,he can’t buy another.’”
“Cheers, mate!”whispered the paramedic dramatically.
“Has anyone ever told you,your eyes are like deep pools in the Caspian sea”.
“Oh,no not another one!”Mary moaned tentatively,”You need to raise your whole game,not just change the name of the sea”
“You’re so intelligent too,lady.Can you teach me truly creative writing?” He yelled quietly.
“Come upstairs she murmured in reply, and we’ll see what sea we can see up there,tonight”.
“Thank you so much and please send me home in a stamped addressed envelope when you are done with me.”
“Whatever” she sighed spontaneously.”Let’s get on with it or you’ll be here all night”
And so will all of us
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My church


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We’ll soon be writing with both feet

I try  to rule out cliches when I can
At the  exact moment they begin
For if I let one get in here
It will ruin my new career
And then I’ll be  once more an also  ran

“To be or not to be “is Hamlet’s thought
As if the doubting illness he has  caught
So don’t get scruples on the brain
Or you’ll be feeling sick again
And we know how it is when life is naught.

What the Dickens does my boyfriend think
He will not supply my pen with ink
He says handwriting’ s obsolete
We’ll soon be writing with both feet
Yet my old pen  creates no missing links



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Avoid commas

photo0078_001 - Copy

They told me I was so hypothroid I was going into a comma.More like a full stop, I’d say.
Anyway, what’s so bad about commas?
My anemia was so severe, I baptised myself and now my name is Holy Moses ,which  is odd as Moses predated Jesus.I should not have used hot water but my hair needed washing.
My migraine was cured by  detachment.I wanted to cut off my own head but my mother said she couldn’t live without it.So I disengaged.Then got harried.
It’s all one  to me.
I used to get pre-vestibule tension when I first menstruated.Would you like a vestibule in your body?
The Bishop forbade Tampax.He must have had shares in Dr Whites unmentionables.What was my hymen to him? I don’t believe I  ever had one.So there!
I never had flu till I  began explaining why  e is not an algebraic number.Don’t say ,it’s a letter! It was the lectures that made me ill.I don’t like the sound of my own voice
What puzzles me is I became mute when I was 17  and 5 years later I was  a tutor at a University.I never realised I’d have to talk till it was too late.Tell Freud that one!Still it was mainly:

For every number delta, however small there is a number epsilon ,which is less than delta.Maybe it’s the other way round but I can’t type it again.So it’s not as if I had to make small  talk about Wittgenstein and Serge Diaghilev.Or the weather.We never spoke to the undergraduates.They looked terrified already.Maybe they were mute

So to conclude, if you are mute, become a teacher.Or even a professor.That will make you talk again and again….but I’m still quiet I am told.When I stop talking.

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Bird on the wire


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