Emile the cat goes to the vet

  •  Stan realised it was time for Emile to have his annual flu jab.He stopped polishing the windows  and picked up the phone. .Hello,it’s Stan here.Can I make an appointment for Emile?

    Yes, come today if Emile has had a bath!
    Are you joking?
    Yes,the receptionist responded cheerfully
    Actually he did have a bath and now can swim breasttroke!
    How amazing,she said cunningly.
    Stan got out Emile’s travelling basket.He put some copies of The Independent inside
    in case Emile was bored.
    Here,Emile,I’m taking you for a ride in the car.Kindly step into your basket please.
    Can’t I sit by you and wear a seat belt?
    I fear it’s illegal.
    Stan answered jauntily.He climbed into the basket and sat up staring out boldly with his great amber eyes.

    The doorbell rang.

    Hello,Annie,Would you like to come to the vet’s with us?

    She looked down at her violet velvet tracksuit and purple trainers with real gold laces

    .
    Yes, wonderful.I’ll sit in the back with Emile
    .
    After ten minutes they arrived and parked the car under an elm tree.

    Stan carried the basket steadily, not wanting the poor cat to fall in an undignified manner

    Annie looked at her green nails
    .
    Do you like my nail varnish,Stan?

    To be honest, darlingI prefer shell pink.

    Why is that,pet?

    It is more feminine!

    Feminine! But you can see I’m feminine!

    I like you to be even more feminine.Excesively,bewideringly blindly femimine

    Oh,yes ,agreed Emile,So do I.

    You men,she cried sweetly you are ,never satisfied.

    I wouldn’t say that,my America,my Newfoundland!

    What’s up  ? Swallowed the dictionary.

    It’s a poem,actually
    .
    You’ve been reading that poetry again.It’s bad for you.you’ll ruin your eyes.

    Don’t you like to be my new found land?

    A bit late to ask  me now,she murmured seductively rolling her eyes
    .
    In a   moment they were in the empty waiting room.

    Then a man came in with a big black dog.Emile stared f
    iercely with his big amber eyes,

     and the dog whimpered and lay down on the floor.

    The vet came out and asked Stan to bring Emile in.Emile gave a yell at the dog before Stan

    shut the door
    .
    So,said the beautiful young vet,how is pussy today.

    Emile remained silent.He’s fine,just needs his flu jab.muttered Stan.

    Come now,Emile come out of there.But Emile was clinging to his basket with all his sharp claws
    .
    Are you afraid Emile?He asked kindly

    No,I’m not afraid,I’m just acting how vets expect cats to act.

    So Emile speaks English?

    He knows French too.

    Je t’aime, Emile.

    Bedankt,madame.

    Stop showing off and get out of there,She doesn’t speak Dutch.

    Mein mutter wast immer krank,cried Emile

    Get out now!

    Emile came out slowly and stood by this good lady

    .She looks a bit like Annie, he whispered.

    The vet took out a small needle and swiftly  and skilfully injected Emile.

    What a good boy,she stated scientifically,would you like a jelly baby?

    A jelly baby!Cats don’t eat jelly babies!

    Well, have a go!

    Emile stalked back to his basket,put on some glasses

    and began to read the editorial in The Independent.

    Stan was hoping to make a suggestive remark to the vet,but Annie came in.

    Hurry up,there’s a thunderstorm coming.Her nails were now pink.

    Did you change your nail varnish?

    No,the green was artificial nails!I took them off.

    Can I have some claw varnish.demanded Emile

    What colour?

    I fancy teal,Emile miaowed.

    Teal!How ludicrous!

    What about red?

    Too pretentious.

    I don’t think I’ll bother then,the cat said languidly

    We men don’t have to bother about such things.

    Well,you are lucky said Annie.

    I hate makeup and nail varnish,blow dries and manicures but I don’t feel feminine without it.

    You feel very feminine to me said Stan,running his hand softly along her forearm

    and patting her behind!

    Stan!Not here in the road!

    Why not?        enquired Emile.It looks ideal to me if you go behind those bushes.

    Annie jumped into the car and drove away leaving Stan to carry Emile

     to the bus stop for a tedious journey home.She came back.

    Let’s all go home.I’m sorry I drove away.I’m feeling a bit blue today.

    They got in and arrived safely home where Stan brewed a big pot of tea

     and let Annie sit on the sofa with her feet on cushion.He rubbed her head gently.Lovely,she purred.

    I like having my head stroked.So do I,said Emile loudly but alas they were too busy to hear or to care,

     so much enjoying their blissful reunion.

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About Katherine

I like poetry and history.I love literature and music.
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