There were three of us on this motorbike,
Father Dan with me,
And he had Jesus in his bag.
So that makes the total three.
Transubstantiation is a special thing,
I looked down at that bag.
Is Jesus really inside there, I thought?
Should it have a tag?
It’s a secret I have never told
But Father Dan gave it me to hold.
So I had Jesus in my lap,
No wonder there’s an awful gap.
We zoomed off up an unmade road
As fast as Dan could go.
I felt bewildered and bemused,
I loved my Daddy so.
Father Dan took back his bag,
And went inside our house.
I got my marbles out to roll,
And I ate a chocolate mouse.
So Three of had taken a ride
And after that mi Dad had died.
I saw Father Dan saying Sunday Mass
With holy Jesus,so I cried.
I went to the doctor, he said I’d pre-flu,
I said “my dear doctor what shall I do?”
Next time I went, he said “It’s pre- shock.”
And then I had pre measles,pre mumps and pre-pox
I ran to the doctor,he said ” You’re pre-well”
I said “Are you sure it’s not just a pre-quel?”
Next time I turned up,he’d gone out for a walk
It’s hard for a doctor who wants to pre-talk.
I went to the optician, who said I’m pre-blind
I thanked him for being so intensely unkind.
I went back to the doctor,and these words I said
“I’m pre -blind, pre-deaf,pre-ill and pre-dead
Found guilty of committing a crime
Now I am serving my time;
To this jail, I lately was sent
For loitering without intent.
I was standing inside a large Mall,
Though I had bought nothing at all.
The judge says it’s bad for the pound
We should all make an effort to spend.
So the tax payer is spending on me,
Is that good for the economy?
Now I am lingering in here,
Imbibing the prison atmosphere.
Strangeways makes an excellent setting
For the new novel I’ve been plotting.
You can live quite freely in prison,
If you possess John Bunyan’s true vision.
When I have finished this term
I will not have this lesson to learn
“If you really want to do naught………………
Don’t do it where you might get caught”
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