I can’t love you
without loving the whole world too.
I can’t open my heart
unless everyone can be part/
Wait for me.
I’m not afraid.
Wait for me.
I may be delayed.
I see you in my mind,
Smiling, sad and kind.
I can’t love you
Unless I love the lost too.
Give me your hands
Outstretched across the world.
We’re all one
Love has begun
There’s a kind of blush
All over the world tonight
All over the world
You can see me flush
when you hold me lightly.
My frock’s too tightly
I don’t look rightly..
But life’s a scream
when a gnat gets a bite
There’s a kind of rush
All over the world today
All over the world.
We all get a push…
To be busy with care.
So listen very carefully.
Closer now,you’ll see what I mean
When you look at my screen.
Why is there no hush
All over the world at night?
People can’t get to sleep
Lest their smart phones ignite!
We’re wanting more,
all over the world these days
all over the world
From China to France,people clutch with dismay
Their designer bags and their Kindles so fair.
So more and more and more and more,
Of guns and fights and terrible wars,
Means less and less and less and less
Of peace and love and happiness.
More and more means less and less..
How do we escape this world’s distress?
I love my love in summertime
For loving is warmer then.
but when that winter cold smites us
I love my love again.When winter reigns across the land,
When frost and snow abound,
I smell the roses’ scent so sweet
Whenever you’re around.
The deepest snow,the heaviest frost
Will not keep me away.
Come summer sky or winter fogs
I shall love you every day.
The sweetest rose that ever bloomed
Is not as sweet as you.
You are my garden of delights
I love you through and through.
Pray Father,give me some washing.I’ve got Wikileaks and a new obsession.
Tell me more,my child.
I think someone has been inside my computer.
They can’t be human.
Well, we are not thin enough to get into the computer.
Ah, they turn themselves into particles and come in with the current..
when it’s high tide.
Do you mean tied?
No,Father.I’ve not been reading that book.
Neither have I but in the confessional I’ve heard it all.
And how does that make you feel?
Why pay to read a fantasy when you can dream up your own?
Some are born dim… others become dim…….
Well,any sins tonight.
I’m so sorry.I was planning to tell a lie but I forgot.
There’s a list of sins in the Missal…
Yes,I’ve not tried most of them yet… just got a pang of anger
when aa brick fell on my head.
That’s natural,my child.
Has a brick ever fallen on your head,Father.
Not yet but I’m only 97.
Wow,you look much older.Are you longing to diet?
Why is there no food in heaven?
I wonder who cooks.
Maybe they live on manna.
Does God eat food
That was one topic we never did in the cemetery.
Do you mean the seminary.
At my age,it’s all one.
You have reached Nirvana….congratulations.
Well.I’d prefer a cup of tea.
What are you?
I’m a great Dane.
Did you say a grey Dane.
Well perk up;the show’s not quite over till the gnat really stings.
Do gnats eat string?
String… it’s my passion.Love it or mate it…get involved.
Live a little.
And for your penance… you must have a bath…
I don’t like the way you smell.
Well,I am a dog.. we like sniff.Can I borrow your hankey?
I’ll wash it for you.
Well,it’s not over till that gnat gets a sting!
Hello.what brings you here?
My feet doctor.
I have enough derision already.
Oh.dear.I have reduced vision too.
Are you hard of hearing?
No,my ears do it all by themselves.
You don’t understand.
I wear underpants but I have no standing in the community.
I’m a doctor.
Well,you could have fooled me.You have fooled me.
You are a complete nitwit.
What wit are you on about?
Do you mean lice or knitting?
Are you enjoying a vision?
No,God is rarely on the television.
You need to get tuned in?
Shall I drop out first?
I’m tempted to spank you.
Well,I’ve always been a glutton for punishment.
It’s a prank.
A plank is quite useful for crossing mud.
Who is helping whom?
I don’t even know Hoom.Is he new here? I once read Hume.
This is hopeless…
Don’t give up……….. try a Samaritan…
Where are they?
Inside the handset.
No,I give in.Why am we here?
I have an idea……….
Oh, no……it’s too late.
Hush.. just listen……..
There’s a kind of hush, all over the world tonight.
I have had my imagination banned.
I ask,from why to why not and every shade of gay in between?
I don’t wish to tease you all night.
I want to be gay in every field in England,if not the world.
I’ll see which way my mind flows tonight.
Please don’t keep yelling for me down the street.
I’d like to separate the men from their toys.
Kindly go and wet Vince Cable.
Electricity and water,the leads may be faulty… you may get nuked.
He drowned her in his wrath.
She fell into the wine.
And that was only the first course of the meal.
Of course that was his design..
She only wanted a wash but he gave her a bath, Ceylon tea and first aid,
This lady was absolutely burning,
So for a climax,they had sherry trifle with brandy butter.
Are there walnuts in May?
It’s utter Bedlam in my house.
Feeling mad?You’ll love it.
Call me up,any rhyme will do.
You can text me,ring me,write me.Feel me,love me.
As long as I have time to pee.
There are many saints in love.
But he surpassed all.
He planted so many trees,he was given his own thicket.
They say,it’s not real cricket…
Just a Test Match.
But it’s such a pleasure and joy
We won’t let them cop it.
She loves all and blunders too.
She asked for a Dutch cap bt they gave her a balaclava helmet and a pair of gloves
So the consequence was,
Sorry knitting babies’ jackets
I love little pussy, she keeps me so warm.
And she never wavers.
She can plead music too with the best of When.
He’s no gentleman…he’s just the dogsbody.
Why,he even answers the door..
He’s not just drowning,he’s raving…..
He speaks many languages except for the unusual cliches..
You get my swift?
He’s bringing the lead again.
The race does go to the rift but they miss the sites for sore I’s.
Has he run a marathon or is his name Jonathan?
No,I am deaf but my IQ is 200 and increasing gaily.
Who was that you paid?
It all goes to show
I wish someone would remove them all.
We have too many errors in the fire nowadays.
And it’s burning me tup.
I am a liar now but I used to sleep under the table in a box.
Insomnia,hypersomnia.nymphomania…. is it plainer now?
It’s the lesson of two weevils.
Life needs Dutch courage.
Say what you like,but the Danes make good butter.
I need references.I’m the author.
o Loose in the hopes of dread…
Oh, my own lover!
He was such a bold flirt;
with his love unclaimed,
he could recite George Boole
he was one of the old Cool.
He never reached his goal.
so with my bling and some flair
I hoped he’d open the enchanted bud
To the music of his lyre.
I’ll pray this for him:
t hat he should find what he wreaks
and write it down with a stylus.
Really he is the allurement of angels
He was my epiphany
Make it up, as the clocks clang..
It’s not really you…it’s just an affliction.
I can do nothing for my calves
It’s because of all the punning I did once.
I can’t even lump a stone over a wall now.
My arms are as weak as Trojans.
I never suffer viruses to be declassified.
Like I said,just wink and say a prayer..
In God we dare.
I got up at the smack of dawn,
As I had some facts to grind.
Somewhere in the black of my mind
I knew we were through.
We have a very moving kind of love.
a very moving type of love
1.Soup from the frayed genes.
2.Faxed lies with cherry sauce on a bed of Uncle Sam’s Lice.
3.Vulture’s legs in karma sauce with free bondage on the side.
4.Whipped gooseberry fools with mustard
5.Cuffed cheese and crackers.
6.Coffee or Flea with bugger substitutes.
Fried jeans with eggs here 24/7
Snuff it now or tease yourselves forever.Suitcases available at a charge to be fixed..padlocks extra.
Ear plugs are obtainable by bequest.
Sea sickness pills in our own pharmacy.Buy now or cough up later.
Break your will here.Free at the point of context.
Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Why are you here,my child?
It’s ten bleats synched with my tweets since I began obsessing again
I see.So you wish to confess?
Well.either that or digress..
Alright,my child.Blurt it out.
I spent three hours trying to examine my conscience..
Well,I am filled with envy because my sister is so thin and beautiful.
Is that your sister who lives up the road.
But she’s much fatter than you.
No,no,She’s skinny as a rake..
I think you are looking through the wrong end of the telescope.
I am speaking in metaphors.
Can’t you speak in tongues?
So you are envious of the slender physique of this lady who is so fat
she can hardly walk?
She’s just pretending…she always was lazy.
Well,I recommend you have your eyes tested and also you need your head examining.
Why?Have I got nits?
Only metaphorical nits.You need a psychiatrist, I believe.
I believe too but can’t you accept my regret at my sin.
Definitely,I can but I can’t accept the stupidity of envying someone worse off than you.Absolution may help the sin but for stupidity it’s hard to think what to do.It’s like paranoia…the more you try to show people they are wrong,the more they cling to their belief.
So what do you suggest,Father?
You need to ask yourself why you keep comparing yourself with others.
I see…they do say comparisons are odious.
And envy and spite can cause a kind of blindness.
So spite ruins your sight?
Definitely.None so blind as those who will not see.
I think I’m making progress.What’s my penance?
Are you good at dress making?
Do you want a new cassock.Father?
No,I want you to make a beautiful dress for your sister.You will have to measure her height and her vital statistics and wrap her around in lovely silk fabric.
That will give her a shock.
It will give you one as well.Any more sins?
Well,I keep getting hit on the head by the hairdresser.
It’s not a sin.
I know but it’s a sin that I keep going there and never say anything,
Well for your penance it’s a facial and a hair cut at a better salon.
This all seems a bit odd,Father.
Well,we try to keep up with the times but it’s the same old sins..
Envy,self hatred,other hatred,malice….bullying,murder..gluttony
and that’s just in this one parish.
Goodness, how do you cope?,
Well,I shall never vote Liberal Democrat again..
What’s politics got to do with sin?
It’s all quite simple.The more the wealthy flaunt their wealth,bonuses and tax breaks the harder it is for the poor to say no to temptation.
Sin has its social aspect.It’s not entirely personal.
One virtue is to avoid causing others to fall into temptation.
This is quite intriguing.Thank you,Father.
Thank you…. and I’m standing as an Independent next time.
What will you label yourself as?
Not sure…how about
It’s the rites that make it right?
It sounds like the BNP
If you want to go to hell,feel free but don’t take everyone else too.
There are enough people in hell already.
You’ll have to make it snappy.
I’ll have to pray.
Stop preying and start praying?
The one drawback is that the old language of sin and so on seems outdated… we need new terminology.
Raise your self esteem………do us all a favour.
Be good and you’ll feel good.
Love others even when it annoys them.. the fun of God.
The Fun of God…
The Humour of the Numinous.
I thought you might say:
The Humour of New Mirth.
Mirth is the latest thing
No other quality can bring
such great joy and happiness
To our story.
Mirth is the greatest joy
Far better than cars and toys
No other virtue can send
such a sweet message
Of God’s glory.
Mirth is the only worth.
Mirth us like heaven on earth;
so why not join in and laugh.
DON’T VOTE TORY
Right,must dash…I can’t stop smiling … Let’s have a bash.
Let’s create a brand new story
I shall never hear.
I shall never
play a duo with you.
Would we harmonize?
Or find some compromise?
Does one need to hear
the sound of someone’s heart,
transposed into verbal music..
Or can we manage without it?
Words reveal the lost soul.
But not the whole story.
Play it again
But this time
I want to hear the music