Teaching parrots to swear

The job

They said they would give me the job,
But it involved using crude words.
Teaching birds
To speak for retired naval folk,
who like parrots that can already talk
Like sailors talk.
Anyway they told me to buy a dictionary,
On amazon,there is one for filthy words!
But is that enough?
I’ve never heard
Any of them before except
……….Oh,no.I can’t make it public.
There may be some rubric
That will guide us in what the distinction is.
Parrots can’t use filthy words.
They are very clever and colourful birds.
Does it not seem cruel to you
That they live in a zoo,
And have to learn rude language too?
I’d like to free them all
and let them fly down Pall Mall
If that’s not right,go to hell.
You never can tell
How the English pronounce words.
Some are utterly absurd.
Like “Cholmondeley”
is rummly pronounced
“Chumley”
And if you are think “chum”
Rhymes with “bum”,
and “Ass”
Rhymes with “lass”
Go tell that lass,
you love her ass.
If you have a chum
Don’t refer to his bum.
Unless he’s a transexual
In which case,it would be too complectional
So say you like eyes
And men who wear ties.
Or you like big ears
And eyes full of tears.
Just day you l ike people
In general
Don’t be too specific,
And don’t even kick it!
Now where is my amazon account
I won’t
Feel too bad about these words
As no-one I know has ever heard
Of most of them
Unless they say them when
I’ve gone outside.
Maybe they lied,
Or got laid
By a fair young maid?
Well,I’m off on a word raid.
Birds refuse to use
These crude and rude
Letters.
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About Katherine

I like poetry and history.I love literature and music.
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