A bit more from Sept 2012

 

  • Mary writes a lettee

    The Pilchards.

    23,Sweetnames Avenue

    Knittingham

    Near Nottingham.

    England

    Dear Jane

    Hope you are keeping well in this unusually cold spring weather.

    Stan has had flu.It made him so bad tempered and waspish

    that I took up the Duraglit polish and got him to polish all the brass,

    except the front door knob, as that doesn’t come off.

    Mind you,it made the bedroom smell odd… a mistake,perhaps…

    so I sprinkled lavender oil around.

    He seems to get thinner and I seem to get fatter.

    So our average w eight remains constant.

    What a relief.I’d like to be weighed as a married woman.

    Can you believe this..

    I’ve got chilblains! It’s those dratted blood vessels of mine.

    Still,I polished some old plum colored leather and wear them in the house.

    We seem to be doing polishing frequently here.. boots,furniture,apples.

    How is your new book “Nonsense:A.N.Whitehead and Lewis Carroll” coming on?

    Hope it’s progressing….to a nonsensical ending.

    I’ve got a new book of poetry coming out in April

    [from Polar bears publishers]

    It’s called,”An unpolished performance.”

    My fourth book on Wittgenstein’s cats is almost finished.

    And the publishers can’t wait for the photographs…I’ll get a friend to do those for me!!

    It gives me a change from all that polishing.

    I’ve begun to talk to myself out loud…. in the street.

    Just seeing if I can still do my old Lancashire accent.

    I suppose it might worry people but no one has said anything as yet.They may be afraid.

    “That which is unsaid can,nevertheless,still be heard.

    Stan is still involved romantically with Anne, our next door neighbor.

    I can’t blame him as chilblains and Wittgenstein not very romantic.

    When I think of how we used to be,it makes me smile and feel sadness too.

    I wonder if I can find someone new for a romance,myself… someone with Asperger’s syndrome

    possibly…as I’ve just been diagnosed.It’s quite common in mathematicians.It may be an

    advantage in concentrating a lot

    I need a boyfriend with weak eyes as my clothes are all full of moth holes

    and I’m damned if I’m going to buy new ones.

    I can’t see well enough to darn but I’ve sewn the holes up neatly thus

    giving a strange pleated effect to my clothes.

    On my merino wool knitted trousers, one hole was right on the ass.

    It looks now as if I’ve been shot in the rear…

    but I can’t see it.So it does not exist.

    Sometimes in the past I would iron on those motifs like

    butterflies…but

    I think it would look odd having a butterfly just there…. or indeed

    anything else like wild rose.

    I could make a little sign saying

    “Keep clear,from my rear.This is a hole where a moth scored a goal.”

    Still,not many people are going to look there now I hope….

    I seem to have stopped knitting but am still drawing.

    Meantime I’ve just ironed some of my winter clothes as it’s still chilly..

    and am planning to iron all my pink and blue knickers now

    as I believe it kills any germs left when you wash at 30 deg.I got those colours in case I should

    change sex or is it gender?

    I wonder if I should iron the sheets?

    Could I do it while they are on the bed?

    I don’t wash them much as it wears them out and me too.

    I am going to take up baking again because Stan is getting so thin.

    I fancy a Russian cheesecake as it had a lot of protein in it.

    I have a genuine Russian cookbook and also am waiting for a delivery of a

    Jewish cookery book as I have lost mine..no it fell down onto my head last week

    .God only knows where that came from.

    but I believe there were good cheesecakes as Jewish cooking has much in

    common with Russian,perhaps because once many Jews lived in Russia.I just

    made friends with one here….he is charming and like me he hates golf.

    I have got almost all the Penguin cookery books ever printed but mislaid a

    few.

    In fact it’s quite hard to get into the kitchen

    with all these books on the shelves.And a little food.

    I was comforted to read that the parent’s of John Burra,the artist,

    had books piled every where in their large house….

    and he was very untidy too.

    So all I need is talent and practice and I’ll be an artist.

    After all,anyone can be untidy but not everyone will practice their Art.

    I’d like to practice the arts of love.

    They say you should love your neighbor as yourself,

    but personally I prefer the neighbor or even the milkman to myself.

    Meanwhile I’m happy with Emile our cat

    and my 500 photos of Wittgenstein.

    I shall make Stan a lemon sponge pudding.

    That is the love he wants…Food.

    “If music be the food of love I’ll cohabit with a pure white dove.
    And while he coos and sings for me.
    I’ll try not to :fall out of the tree,
    Get stung by a bee,
    Have psychotherapy
    Make more enemies,
    Let my thought free,
    Hurt my knee.
    Let moths frighten me.

    Well,time for some tea.

    Now Jane, please write to me soon.

    I love to see your so strangely beautiful handwriting

    and to hear about Whitehead and Cambridge and all the weird dons.

    I hope it’s not too damp and cold there near that river.

    Keep warm and make a note of any intriguing happenings to relate to me.

    And anything beautiful you can see or hear.I hope Edward is writing

    regularly..where is he doing his research now… did you say Stanford?

    Maybe you should install Skype..then again,perhaps not as you would have to

    wash your hair too much… and comb it too…perhaps we could wear wigs.

    Do write soon,Love always,Mary.

  •  

    I wish I were an apple
    and you were eating me
    I’d like to make you happy
    As you sat by this tree.
    I wish I were a blackbird
    So I could sing for you.
    I’d like to make you cheerful
    And stop you feeling blue.
    I wish I were the sun
    So I cold warm your frozen heart.
    And then your heart would melt for me
    And you would be less tart.
    I wish I were the moon
    so I could protect you all night long.
    But being only me may I
    Present you with this song?


    Why

     

    1.Why is denim now a sign of conformity not rebellion?
    2.Where are the best jeans from?
    3.Should you wear “double denim”?
    4. Why is denim too hot for summer and too cold for winter and yet we wear it anyway?
    5.Why don’t most people wear winter coats nowadays?
    6.Why are the shops so hot they make one feel sick
    7.How shopping makes me feel sick and other ways of saving money.
    8.Why did the Russians have the best novelists?
    9.Is 8. true?
    10.Is life worthwhile?
    11.What does 10.mean
    12.Who can come up with the best ideas for small talk?
    13.Food processors…are they a good thing to own?
    14.Did you see the second version of Dr Zhivago?
    15.Why is Russian Orthodox liturgy so moving?
    16.Have you been to Walsingham?
    17.Do you like day trips on a coach?
    18.Why is fish and chips our national dish.
    19.Why is roast beef our national dish.
    20.Do other nations have fish and chips?
    21 Is rapeseed oil any use for chip frying?
    22.What an odd name rapeseed is.
    23.Did Einstein eat chips?
    24.Is your skin sensitive?
    25.Why do women wear deodorants but men don’t usually bother?
    25.Do you need suncream in the winter?
    26.How many grains of sand are there on Brighton beach?
    27.Why is the sea at Hythe sometimes teal
    28.Why are the Saxon cliffs in Kent a mile from the sea?
    29.Can the Kent authorities move the cliffs back near the sea again.
    30 Isn’t it odd that the railway line runs at the bottom of the cliffs near Folkstone as the tide might come up
    as a train goes by?
    31,Is this small talk?

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About Kate Thwaite

I love writing , conversation, art, wild flowers, music and air.And books
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