The early bird gets worn out
?Good things come to those who fast
Is that a louse in your pocket or are you freezing me out with a flea in my ear?
He’s been fitted with an a built in walking stick and soon he will be on the carpet
He’s better than a bloke with his eye on a hot chick and his foot in the fire while giving a lecture on Wittgenstein
When life gives you lemons suck out the pips..
I have the tricks of one and the lipsticks of the other.He’s a twin transvestite
I am having my childhood now as I grew up when I was only one year old.I spoke in sentences and asked for permission to attend University but you had to be able to walk,so they said.But the mind works well in a pram otherwise none of us would be able to talk
To each his comb except for the bald.
My husband is so lazy he shaved his head so he would not need to part his hair.He said if God can part the Red Sea why can’t he part my hair.Well now he has parted with his hair so I feel like I am in bed with a pot scourer…I should put some shower gel on and he will get me white as snow inna metapohrical sense.Is sex wrong when you are married for more than forty tears? He tears my night dress to shreds for the marmalade.Why do I put up with him?
Well, he makes a good cup of tea the morning after the night before.
If you keep your eye on their balls then you will lose it or go blind,for sure.
I make up facts for encyclopaedias and delusions for schizophrenics with no imagination.Even paranoids trust me to give them new people to fear like you and you… you know who you are!
Wake up a tree and it leaves immediately.Well, that’s what they told McBeth
Everything’s coming out in rude phrases tonight.Nothing unusual there I peer.
A bird in the band is worth a thrush in a holly bush
Put your tart into a bag and take it along to the party.It’s a Tarts’ Ball in fancy dress.I do fancy your dress very clutch!May I much you?I shall miss you if you don’t help me.
I break my last cig and all you do is cough.I am not bemused
I sought to plant my seed in your bush but it was not to bee
We had such a nervous chat on your hot tin roof I beg you to turn off the fires of hell.
Witches were late out when all their watch batteries failed simultaneously
That is so uncanny I just don’t deceive you!
Please yourself and I’ll please myself simultaneously.That’s why we learned algebra at school,