My old man swears by it

Coffee cup

Coffee cup (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

I woke up today.Again!What an achievement.I gave myself a gold star.I paid my Access card bill on the phone.It said I owed them 2p
2p… that seems odd…I am unsure if I used the card being as I’ve been so poorly.So I paid that with my debit card… well,I don’t want to pay interest..even on 2p it  could compound
I drank 5 mugs of tea..then 2 mugs of coffee…I bought 6 jars of coffee from Amazon.
I opened my email and answered some comments on a poetry website. that was time consuming.Then I moved by WP blog to Blogger and my Blogger to WP I opened three email accounts on cuckoo and boogle and tried to send myself a few nice messages and photos.
After that I lost myself in thought.Is it a Brown Study?I went into the bathroom.The wall looks dusty…do you dust walls?I looked at some winter woollens drying on coat hangers…My merino wool trousers have got a hole in them.Darning !
Can’t believe it’s November 1st.I got out my new camera.I’ve no idea of the specs but it’s red!.I got it in Argos.I feel it’s my duty to get the economy going.My phone is not downloading photos any more.
I think I’ll go out but my throat is still sore.Seems permanent.
Anyway.my old man got out the phone and bought himself some new trousers…men!

Next he’ll want a new overcoat made of yak hair or moose fur… he’s very metriculous about clothing.I said to him,
It’s puffin’ riduckulous.Eff stuff!
Now look here,he shouted I don’t want you swearing again,you little chugger.
I think he meant blogger..
I said,if I feel like swearing I’ll move to another country.
Which one? he demanded
Any where women can swear in the langue du jour…I did O level French
So that rules out the Arabs I guess.How about Jews?Do they let women swear in Israel?After all they do National Service.
That is something you might consider,my old man said.You could become part of a Mission to ask forgiveness for the Crusades.

But I could not swear then.

No,but they would swear at you!

So I’d pick up some naughty words?Just one problem,they’d be Hebrew or some other foreign language,No doubt many read English on the web.But they don;t get the pronunciation right.

Blurdy Elle.

Wott de ye cawl this .A besom? I’ce seen better on a cat…

I say old man,Good Lord.

Fork off.

Wot crarp.

Varmints!

Reed my hi
How about Horstralia… they all swear there.In English.Horstralian English
He’s getting too sharp.He needs sandpapering and flying
Now I want 4 more mugs and some tea.I’m worn out writing like this just to please the rosey sharkers on the interket
I have not been to the loo yet but if I go I shall publish it here first.So watch this space

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About Kate Thwaite

I love writing , conversation, art, wild flowers, music and air.And books
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