The Toilet Function of Friendship | Psychology Today

English: Group photo in front of Clark Univers...

English: Group photo in front of Clark University Sigmund Freud, G. Stanley Hall, Carl Jung; Back row: Abraham A. Brill, Ernest Jones, Sándor Ferenczi. Photo taken for Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts publication. Česky: Foto z Clarkovy univerzity roku 1909. Dole (zleva) Sigmund Freud, G. Stanley Hall, Carl Jung, nahoře (zleva) Abraham A. Brill, Ernest Jones, Sándor Ferenczi (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Toilet Function of Friendship | Psychology today.

This is interesting because I think people do dump on others without realising what they are doing… that’s what I have experienced

And the misconception that talking is always good and restraint is bad.Talking can be a waste of time if the conversation is not with an appropriate person.When people share deep feelings at the right time.that can be invaluable

Short extract

“The metaphor that comes to mind for an alternative style of communication is a “sounding board,” because it means that when you transmit information about a difficulty or question, something comes back. To go beyond mere listening is a risky thing to do; you may be experienced as “unsupportive” or judgmental if you say something truthful and difficult, but for me, that’s what real friendship means.”


About Katherine

I like art, poetry,history, literature,cooking,doing nothing to music.And conversation
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2 Responses to The Toilet Function of Friendship | Psychology Today

  1. Tish Farrell says:

    Thanks, Katherine, this is a good article. Just realised that when I stopped being available as toilet service for a supposed good friend, she then cooked up the most appalling conspiracy about me that has divided our family for years, and indeed is so complicated that it refuses resolution. Oh for a really good flush!


  2. Katherine says:

    Hello Tish.The author,Joseph Burgo,has written an excellent book called,
    Why do I do that?
    How awful about that friend… such grief,I used to have a who would tell me long tales of woe,but when I said,Sorry you’ve had such a bad week she looked startled and denied it was bad.I thought then that people may not really ” know” what they are saying or perhaps not know you are another separate person.
    He says it’s normal in infancy……….let’s hope at least not to let it happen as much.
    I wonder if it provides material for writing or is it perhaps far too painful?
    The book is not too hard to read and I found it most helpful.But there is no index!


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