Borderline impersonality disorder.. the latest mental disease

Feeling testy? Feeling nutty?

A new illness is sweeping across the borders of Britain.Have you got  it?

Take this test.

1.If someone asks you the time in the street you
a] Swear at them
b]Tell them to eff off back to where they came from.
c] Make a rough guess because you are afraid they will see your Rolex and mug you.
d]Look at the nearest sundial.
e]Say you have no idea but ask them to come to Starbuck’s with you.
f]Look at your watch as it’s from Argus.. so you could even give it to them!
g]none of the above.
2.Someone at the bus stop asks you the weather forecast.
Do you
a]Say:why don’t you look on your Smartphone.
b]Smile vaguely and say you are meditating.
c]Say :Can’t you afford a newspaper?
d]Say you never listen to it but you’d be happy to discuss Wittgenstein,Countdown,Strictly Kosher or Come Dancing.
e}Pretend to be deaf.
f]Tell them to submit to the will of God.
g]Say:Can’t you be quiet,I’m saying the Rosary.
f]Glare silently.
3 Do you always refer to yourself as “One”
e.gI f your partner asks you a question you say
“One might think you couldn’t read.”
“One might believe that,sometimes”
“God has not told any One.”
4} Are you evasive?

 
So if someone says.Where’ve you been,you say,
It’s none of your business,even though you only went to the Newsagent.
Evasion may lead people to think you have something to hide.If you do then use a different defence..
“Oh,I was just taking a few photos in the park.”
“I went to the library but saw nothing that appealed to me.”
I think you get my drift now.If you don’t you may have
Borderline lack of mind disorder [BLMD
.Don’t worry if you can’t read between the lines.Just read on them or around them.

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About Kate Thwaite

I love writing , conversation, art, wild flowers, music and air.And books
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