Kindly do not have a heart attack when the Consultant is doing his round;he is teaching.You come second
Kindly do not faint when the nurses have their tea break
Kindly avoid wetting the bed;roll out and do it on the floor
if unable to walk.
Kindly wear a dressing gown when out of bed as this ward is mixed up.
Kindly avoid dressing gowns with zips as they can be immodest or dangerous
After being dosed with too much morphine unnecessarily and having a primula inserted,kindly avoid bleeding to death after being transferred off the trolley into bed when we must have banged your hand.We deeply regret the shock.
Kindly inform us if your blood pressure fall to zero owing to bleeding from your primula after the nurse knocks on it.
Kindly do not show your sketch books to the other patients.They are jealous enough
Kindly avoid sketching the bed opposite you where a gentlemen is screaming in pain all day.
Kindly do not ask for another blanket.Use your dressing gown.Or scream
Kindly avoid doing a quick portrait of Dr Brown as he is ugly already and we are tried beyond belief
Kindly do not reprimand the nurse for spilling water on the best drawing you ever did… it was you who did it in water soluble ink.
Kindly do not cough at night.You can sneeze in the morning if you like.
Kindly do not panic if you find you have died.Nothing else can happen then as far as we know.. kindly email us to let us know where you end up.
Now Zen.Keep calm and carry on.
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