Oh my dentist is handsome,a very fine man
He seduces women with his frying pan.
He cooks them eggs and fries some ham
And just now and then,he cooks up spam.
He knows all the wiles and the tricks of the trade
To win the hearts of the charming young maids.
but when they see him in his surgery
They pick up their big handbags
And out they flee.
So now he’s decided to charm us older ones
By making jam and baking scones.
He makes them tea and pours it out.
his tea pot has got a very large spout!
He plays soft music and says a few kind words
Then he tells us how to calculate irrational surds.
It worked on me and now I am
Totally in love with this most intriguing man.
I boil his hankies on the kitchen fire
And write him poetry he complains is rather dire.
But when we go to lie down on his couch
A spring is sticking up,so he screams.Ouch,ouch.
Now I suggested we use the surgery,
As that reclining chair is big enough for three..
For I always take the cat along on dates with me
For he will lie just behind my knee.
But the dentist does not want to have Henry there
He thinks his dental chair will pick up Henry’s hair..
I offered to clean it with a kitchen cloth
As I’m sure I can get all those cat hairs off!
I sit here waiting,wondering will he call——-
A fate that is common to us women, men and all.
But when at last the bell begins to go
I am listening to a loud radio.
So consummation is deferred again
I feel quite sorry for this lonely gentleman.
but now I’ve taught him how to send a text
but he‘s not sent any yet so I am feeling somewhat vexed.
I have an idea this love is too bizarre
Making out in the dentist’s surgery chair.
So now I’m thinking of how a doctor‘d be,
And wondering if he would allow me to sit upon his knee?