Oh my dentist is handsome,a very fine man
He seduces women with his frying pan.
He cooks them eggs and fries them ham
And just now and then, he cooks up spam.
He knows all the wiles and the tricks of the trade
To win the hearts of the charming young maids.
yet when they see him in his surgery
They pick up their handbags.And out they flee.
So now he’s decided to charm the older ones
By making jam and cooking scones.
He makes them tea and pours it out.
his tea pot has a very large spout!
He plays soft music and says a few kind words
Then he tells ladies how to calculate irrational surds.
It worked on me and now I am
Totally in love with this most intriguing man.
I boil his hankies on the kitchen fire
And write him poetry he says is rather dire.
But when we go to lie down on his couch
A spring is sticking up,so he screams.Ouch,ouch.
So now I suggested we use the surgery,
As that reclining chair is big enough for three..
For I always take my cat on dates with me
he likes to lie just behind my knee.
But my dentist does not want to have Henry there
He thinks his dental chair will be ruined Henry’s hair..
I offered to clean it with a kitchen cloth
As I’m sure I can get all those cat hair’s off!
I sit here waiting,wondering will he call-
A fate that is common to us women, men and all.
But when at last the bell begins to go
Alas I was listening to my radio.
So consummation is deferred again
I feel quite sorry for this lovely gentleman.
though now I’ve taught him how to send a text
He ‘s not sent one yet so I ‘m feeling deeply vexed.
I have a feeling this love is too bizarre
Making out in the dentist’s surgery chair.
So now I’m thinking of how a doctor’d be,
And wondering if he would allow me to sit upon his knee?