He cooks up spam

Pilze_2010-09-25-4343

Oh my dentist is handsome,a very fine man

He seduces women with his frying pan.

He cooks them eggs and fries them ham

And just now and then, he  cooks up spam.

He knows all the wiles and the tricks of the trade

To win the hearts of the charming young maids.

yet when they see him in his surgery

They pick up their handbags.And out they flee.

So now he’s decided to charm the older ones

By making jam and cooking scones.

He makes them tea and pours it out.

his tea pot has a very large spout!

He plays soft music and says a few kind words

Then he tells ladies how to calculate irrational surds.

It worked on me and now I am

Totally in love with this most intriguing man.

I boil his hankies on the kitchen fire

And write him poetry he says is rather dire.

But when we go to lie down on his couch

A spring is sticking up,so he screams.Ouch,ouch.

So now I suggested we use the surgery,

As that reclining chair is big enough for three..

For I always take my cat on dates with me

he  likes to lie just behind my knee.

But my dentist does not want to have Henry there

He thinks his dental chair will be ruined  Henry’s hair..

I offered to clean it with a kitchen cloth

As I’m sure I can get all those cat hair’s off!

I sit here waiting,wondering will he call-

A fate that is common to us women, men and all.

But when at last the bell begins to go

Alas I was listening to my radio.

So consummation is deferred again

I feel quite sorry for this lovely gentleman.

though now I’ve taught him how to send a text

He ‘s not sent one yet so I ‘m feeling  deeply vexed.

I have a feeling this love is too bizarre

Making out in the dentist’s surgery chair.

So now I’m thinking of how a doctor’d be,

And wondering if he would allow me to sit upon his knee?

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About Katherine

I like poetry and history, literature and music.
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