Oh,doctor I am in a flap I cannot turn this childproof cap I cannot take my medicine So I shall chuck it in the bin The beta blockers make me down So I am in a study brown. The mini aspirins make me bruise And my mind is quite confused. The ibuprofen hurt my heart Yet without one I cannot start. The thyroxine has no effect So what act may I select? The codeine fails to make me high I'm not addicted, though I try. I'll have to take a shot of gin And alcohol will make me sin. I'll go to parties in a dress That makes men's hormones more or less. I'll take a big one home with me, And give him poison in his tea. And when I am in jail, at last, I'll feel remorse for all my past. For as I suffer dreadful pain God has hit me yet again. It's not enough that I'm half blind And suffer terrors in my mind Not enough that lovers cruel Give me stick instead of jewels. Or maybe life does not make sense Especially when one feels so tense. Maybe random are my days and my life has gone astray. I think that I shall buy a cat And love it tenderly and chat. But if my cat gives me a scratch... I'll light its tail up with a match. All the world must me obey Else I'll be enraged all day. I want my own way all the time. Other people must conform. I am here and full of ills What do you think of those blue pills? If they take away my heart That at least will be a start. Then they can remove my brain To help me with this dreadful pain. Why not kill me straight away Then I'll be from pain astray?