Rosa Benchez realised as she walked by the River Wrench that she did not really like her ex-fiance Prof Charlie Blogge,mainly because he bought her engagement ring on Amazon for £27.
I bet he buys them by the dozen and tantalises women who are ready to settle down and have a child.After he has had his fun he breaks up and tells them they can keep the ring
It’s enough to make one into a hermit, she told herself,or a lesbian.How much easier to be schizoid and not want to be close to anyone for more than a few minutes.
She said this to her colleague Dr Norman Arches, who told her off.
You should not desire to be like that,he said.I treated a man who was rather that way and he was very unhappy and felt sad at being unable to be like us.
What do you mean,like us? Rosa asked
People who enjoy the company of others and can tolerate a few mishaps albeit with pain.
Yes,I never knew about all these types of people till I was at Uni.
Why do you refer to Cambridge as Uni.he asked her pensively.
I suppose I don’t want my supposedly brilliant intelligence to be a barrier between me and other people.I asked a man once if he thought I was too intelligent and he said he didn’t think I was above the average.
That could mean he is a genius or that he is so stupid he can’t recognise intelligence when he meets it.
Or he doesn’t want to do so,she whispered.
If you are only average you did well to pass your degree exams so well! Norman muttered.By the way are you free to eat with me tonight?
I’d like that, said Rosa.Will you cook?
Yes I have already got Beef in Beer simmering in my slow cooker
I am glad you like cooking because restaurants are so noisy.
What about a pudding, she said hungrily
I have made a Russian cheesecake from the Penguin Russian cookery book.
I did that one once Rosa cried.It’s lovely.Do you have a pet?
After my wife died I bought 2 cats called Tiny and Daisy but it’s not the same.They love each other and not me.
Do they not sleep on your bed,Rosa enquired gently/
Only if I give them smoked salmon and pay them not to make love on my duvet.
Well, does it bother you? Or so they scratch the cover?
It makes me feel jealous, he said.
Well, they don’t do it on purpose.They are not malicious,s he cried.
I could get an extra one but who knows what will happen?
You must make Tiny and Daisy get married first.
That doesn’t stop human beings so why should cats be better?
I would have though the garden was the place they would prefer.
Well,I’ll see you later.
Rosa picked up ” Teach Yourself Linguistics” and began to write a lecture.
Why don’t you all educate yourselves this way?It’s cheaper than Uni and my niece only got 3 hours teaching a week in her Final Year.
And so say all of us graduates.