Please do not use smartphones whilst crawling to the toilet
Please do not fall again after rising from the bed.
Kindly do not tell the doctor he is stupid.He knows.
The doctor is only a pest sometimes.So act accordingly
Kindly pretend to listen to the Consultant on his round.He is human , we presume
Kindly do not eat cream buns or meringues in front of the Consultant.He is on a diet.
Kindly avoid catching any bugs belonging to or emanating from this hospital.
Kindly do not sleep-talk whilst here.
Please do not swallow your Kindle before lights out.
Keep yourself clean.Take a bed by the open window during a storm.
Kindly avoid dying when we are busy.Wait for an opening on the calendar
If you die in the night, please don’t groan