Category Archives: funny verses

Where is Oxford,on the Tomes?

Where is Ipswich, what is true Where is Norwich, deja vu Cambridge juggles counterpoise Here’s the  train, is it full Will there be a cord to pull Is it diesel, is it steam? It’s atomic in its beams I can … Continue reading

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Once my hand wrote , thoughtless  as a gnome

My punctuation kept me sane and well But question marks appear and  give me hell Do I put it here? or at the end? How can I   calm my mind  yet be on trend? My spelling too has  driven me … Continue reading

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O Bird

Oh, bird you give me pleasure as I look Your image is far better than a book I wish that like you I was a carefree But as I’m not,I shall make myself some tea

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I never knew that  modern bus stops speak

The bus stop says its out of use  this week Men are digging up the road again I never knew that  modern bus stops  speak I wonder will the street lamps follow suit Their  voices like  the chiming of Big … Continue reading

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The honey pence

Blue toads enlarged in a yellow  flood And surry I could not blather soist And be one babbeller, ling I grud And  clacked one fur- eyed as  ice blood To  tare it blent  as a wander floweth Toen blooked by … Continue reading

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I’m chased by signs,equations and cats’ eyes

My nightmare lives in bed,  oh fire,burned bright I’m chased by signs,equations and cats’ eyes After  I’ve turned out  the bedside light I am far too weary for a flight I see  the art and love yet all’s awry My … Continue reading

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Ring 999 and ask for Dave

Stan was cooking  tea that day, While his wife went out to play. He cooked a pie of frogs and cress, He wanted  Mary to impress. Stan was wearing his old clothes. Where old clothes come from,no-one knows. He meant … Continue reading

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Dialogue

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness. Margaret Miller [ att]   A monologue needs friends  attuned and named If  alone, the endless thoughts would wind Like cotton wraps the reel,like life begins   Self … Continue reading

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A sort of clerihew

Germaine Greer says  the Mona Lisa’s poor The female eunuch, sadly I now I rue her She’s made money with  multiple careers She criticises men who never view her

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Not a clerihew

I went to university to study mathematics The performance of my teachers was  boring not ecstatic So then I   went to London to earn a little money While living with my husband who as usual smelled of honey Then we … Continue reading

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