Category Archives: humor

She then arrested me

The stranger told me many secret thoughts I might have been a spy for  malign powers She did come over as a  human fraught She asked  me what provisions I had brought. For what imagined journey did she lure? The … Continue reading

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You’ll get eczema there as well

Ads: Weetabix,weetabix Throw it on the ceiling to see how well it sticks. Go   smirk on an egg Whack, keep off my leg. Ladies, ladies: Do you leak and fear opprobrium? Buy our special  pads then stick ’em on your bum … Continue reading

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Shall I compare thee to a bird of prey

Shall I compare thee to a bird of prey Thou art more cruel yet hide it  very well And if perchance thou now find thou art gay Meet men now down in the fairy’s glen. I know not how to … Continue reading

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Stan wants a chamber pot for Xmas

Cats by Katherine Stan was recovering from his long feverish cold and cough.He had Emile standing on his desk under the window cleaning it with a microfibre cloth fastened to his right front paw Very good,Emile,he said in a husky … Continue reading

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I sniff   in wonder for it smells so gross

How like a prison is my cubicle The only company the  god-dammed ants No human voice,mere sounds funereal No-one to admire these woollen pants. My brassiere has not been washed for  fifty years I fear  a wash might spoil its … Continue reading

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Stan gets visited by two lovely ladies

Stan was standing on a small step ladder washing his windows yet again with a clean blue microfibre and elastane cloth and some Windolene he had bought in Tesco’s I don’t know why I bother, he whispered to Emile, who as usual was watching from … Continue reading

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Please don’t melt away

You are my little icicle so please don’t melt away. I’ll keep you in my freezer and peep at you each day. And if that will not satisfy, I’ll put in more ice cubes. I can’t tell what sex they … Continue reading

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Old and dehydrated folk

  He put a new key in the ignition But  the orifice was damaged past derision So the car failed to start I felt grief in my heart Don’t say no plan came to fruition. The connection  for the radio … Continue reading

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Math lover

My love was so elliptical it passed Before the first one realised and grasped But now I prefer the straight lines to connect Or perhaps an obtuse angle I’ll bisect In truth, I  married mental furniture His mind was  parabolic … Continue reading

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