Category Archives: humor

He sang when high

You make me feel like a handout Another hand out ? How many hands do you have We have a food blank right now.Except for snails Don’t keep me  inflating.I am no saloon I make the blade gay which was … Continue reading

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What [not] to say to a bank robber

What to say to a bank robber: Lay off and get a real job I love your gun.Where did you buy it? Can you lend me 5 pounds from what you took? Where did you buy those jeans, they are … Continue reading

Posted in humor, Thinkings and poems

The immaculate perception!

She stared at me and knitted her wits Am I an idiolect, she asked? Wit is something nits don’t bother about Can you prove it? I can prove pi is not rational That is irreverent We’re not ex  or in … Continue reading

Posted in beautiful thoughts, Courage, criticism, humor, madness or error, metaphor, nonsense, Thinkings and poems

Stan and Mary see a naked woman

After dinner Mary and Stan  often went for a longish walk.They liked to go to a road where the richer people  of Britain lived.,where there were some Georgian houses and one Tudor house. At dusk they would stroll by looking … Continue reading

Posted in advice, art, budget, creativity, humor, love, short story, story, virtue,

As dancing bends the space around the movers rapt, sublime

My lover went to Lapland for he found  my love too warm You  porcupine, he hollered out, I prefer a seal Are you sure.I questioned him, for I did not wish him harm I need to get away from you, … Continue reading

Posted in humor, Thinkings and poems

She then arrested me

The stranger told me many secret thoughts I might have been a spy for  malign powers She did come over as a  human fraught She asked  me what provisions I had brought. For what imagined journey did she lure? The … Continue reading

Posted in humor, Thinkings and poems

You’ll get eczema there as well

Ads: Weetabix,weetabix Throw it on the ceiling to see how well it sticks. Go   smirk on an egg Whack, keep off my leg. Ladies, ladies: Do you leak and fear opprobrium? Buy our special  pads then stick ’em on your bum … Continue reading

Posted in humor, Thinkings and poems

Shall I compare thee to a bird of prey

Shall I compare thee to a bird of prey Thou art more cruel yet hide it  very well And if perchance thou now find thou art gay Meet men now down in the fairy’s glen. I know not how to … Continue reading

Posted in funny verses, humor, poem, sonnet, Thinkings and poems

Stan wants a chamber pot for Xmas

Cats by Katherine Stan was recovering from his long feverish cold and cough.He had Emile standing on his desk under the window cleaning it with a microfibre cloth fastened to his right front paw Very good,Emile,he said in a husky … Continue reading

Posted in fiction, humor, image, love, metaphor, Thinkings and poems

I sniff   in wonder for it smells so gross

How like a prison is my cubicle The only company the  god-dammed ants No human voice,mere sounds funereal No-one to admire these woollen pants. My brassiere has not been washed for  fifty years I fear  a wash might spoil its … Continue reading

Posted in humor, sonnet, Thinkings and poems