Category Archives: humor

He sang when high

You make me feel like a handout Another hand out ? How many hands do you have We have a food blank right now.Except for snails Don’t keep me  inflating.I am no saloon I make the blade gay which was … Continue reading

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What [not] to say to a bank robber

What to say to a bank robber: Lay off and get a real job I love your gun.Where did you buy it? Can you lend me 5 pounds from what you took? Where did you buy those jeans, they are … Continue reading

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The immaculate perception!

She stared at me and knitted her wits Am I an idiolect, she asked? Wit is something nits don’t bother about Can you prove it? I can prove pi is not rational That is irreverent We’re not ex  or in … Continue reading

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Stan and Mary see a naked woman

After dinner Mary and Stan  often went for a longish walk.They liked to go to a road where the richer people  of Britain lived.,where there were some Georgian houses and one Tudor house. At dusk they would stroll by looking … Continue reading

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As dancing bends the space around the movers rapt, sublime

My lover went to Lapland for he found  my love too warm You  porcupine, he hollered out, I prefer a seal Are you sure.I questioned him, for I did not wish him harm I need to get away from you, … Continue reading

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She then arrested me

The stranger told me many secret thoughts I might have been a spy for  malign powers She did come over as a  human fraught She asked  me what provisions I had brought. For what imagined journey did she lure? The … Continue reading

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You’ll get eczema there as well

Ads: Weetabix,weetabix Throw it on the ceiling to see how well it sticks. Go   smirk on an egg Whack, keep off my leg. Ladies, ladies: Do you leak and fear opprobrium? Buy our special  pads then stick ’em on your bum … Continue reading

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Shall I compare thee to a bird of prey

Shall I compare thee to a bird of prey Thou art more cruel yet hide it  very well And if perchance thou now find thou art gay Meet men now down in the fairy’s glen. I know not how to … Continue reading

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Stan wants a chamber pot for Xmas

Cats by Katherine Stan was recovering from his long feverish cold and cough.He had Emile standing on his desk under the window cleaning it with a microfibre cloth fastened to his right front paw Very good,Emile,he said in a husky … Continue reading

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I sniff   in wonder for it smells so gross

How like a prison is my cubicle The only company the  god-dammed ants No human voice,mere sounds funereal No-one to admire these woollen pants. My brassiere has not been washed for  fifty years I fear  a wash might spoil its … Continue reading

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